Chapter 5: This is My Address

 

Chapter 5 : This is my address

I looked at Rani, showed her the message while she was scrupulously using her culinary skills. She looked at me, as if had read all my emotions, after all she knew me inside out, consoled me and said, “Might be in a meeting. Don’t jump to conclusions. Read the above messages too. Don’t repeat the same mistake. You are still alone. Why?”

Yes, I am still alone. Why? I had no answer. I was speechless. I never wanted anyone around to peep deep inside me. I was proud of being a Libran, adept in balancing and too good in hiding my emotions. But nothing remains hidden from Rani.

Her eyes interrogatively spoke all, my silence understood unsaid. There was a profound silence between us. Lost in emotions, my eyes rolled in tears. My rolling emotions gradually covered my cheeks which were about to be lost in air but Rani brilliantly could catch it up with a smile on her face. She said, “Sab theek ho jayega, phone uthaiye, dekhiye kiska call hai.” No sooner had I awoken from my lost world and turned to pick up my mobile than I saw his number flashing on the screen. Both actions happened simultaneously.

I received the call but could speak nothing, not even “Hello”. He was on the other side. Constantly saying “hello” a familiar voice, the same compassionate voice of which I was fond of.  I heard him saying, “I know that it’s you on the other side. Ragni, speak, damn it. Kuch bolo.”

Nothing had changed. Those days too, when he got infuriated, he would raise his voice. The teenager in me neither liked nor understood the compassion and care in his high raised voice and we would unnecessarily fight. So was not the case today. The raised volume had deep concern and care for me. Will he actually fix all? A question raised in me.

Again from the other side, I heard him say, “Ragini, are you there? Ragini. It’s me. Main hoon Raj.”

 I managed to respond in a stern voice. “Yes, this side Ragini, Bolo Raj , Kya baat hai?”

He said, “I want to meet you”.

“Why”,  said I.

“I will fix everything”, Said he.

“Nothing can be fixed now. It’s too late”. Said I

“It’s not late yet. Better late than never” You Know that I still ...................... Said he.

“What I know, I know nothing, neither have I wanted to know anything. Keep the phone”. I said angrily knowing not why.

“No, I have to meet you”. He said again

“No fun now”. I reiterated

“Ragini” – This was said with staunch firmness, “I still love you, I will fix everything. I want to catch up soon.”

“And listen RANI”, said with more sternness, “If not now, then never. You will never come to know where I am. How I am.  ALIVE or not....................”

His anger escalated and he put off the call.  He did not allow me to say anything.  Is he threatening me? But why, what’s wrong with him? I was just trying to conclude when a message popped up on Whats up.

It said: “Text me your address.”

I messaged: “B-12, Atta Society, Shaalimar Bagh, Delhi.

This is my address and sent him with a smiley and red rose. I knew, he loved red roses, only to cool the situation. His words terrified me. I feared losing him.  I had known this angry young man. 

I looked at Rani. She nodded in Yes.

 

 To be continued................................................................

 

Chapter 4: In a Meeting (I Will Not Put You in Trouble)

 

While I was just conversing with Rani regarding what to do, a message popped up, nearly half an hour later of the previous message.

Hi, it’s me, yet not responded, where are we meeting?

I again showed the message to Rani. She read and before she could utter a word, a message popped up again.

?? Whats up? Where are you? Its blue tick by the way. I am sure you are seeing the message, yet not responding. ???

I kept the mobile on the dining table thinking I would pay no heed to it. But my reluctance to reply did not stop the explosion of message. It kept on popping up at a regular interval. Later, its frequency increased.

I am sorry. Reply soon.

I can fix it.

Everything will be fine.

See, we need to communicate. I don’t want any more communication gap between us.

Still waiting for your reply!

Let’s catch up soon!

I can explain everything!

I must be given a chance!

I am afraid I will lose you again!

Each message appeared at a regular interval, probably after a gap of ten to fifteen minutes. We kept on reading the messages as it kept on appearing on the screen. But both of us were quiet. In fact, the silence has silenced us. I was indisputably reluctant to reply to any of his messages. But it kept on popping up from time to time as if he would set everything right now only.

His last message, “I am afraid I will lose you again” compelled me to ponder whether I should reply. I had yet not made up my mind. But I read it again and again. I thought, when  had he won me ever? How the question of losing me can arise?

A one liner man, as he was called in his friends’ circle, one who never liked to write more than a sentence or two and if he needed to repeat anything he would take the help of 10 within brackets, has written so many one line messages to me.   

Rani said, “Do you want to call him?”

“I don’t know. I am not sure.” I replied.

“It seems he has something to share and express”, she said.

“You can message him.” Rani sounded firm.

She believed it is courteous to reply. After all he was no stranger. Communication gap can irreversibly damage any relation.  The greatest problems of the nations can be solved with peaceful negotiations. There’s no harm in dropping a simple message. I was just preparing to reply that a message appeared.

Planned to give me cardiac arrest?

I read it. But absolutely confused, I wanted to yell at my dilemmatic condition. I felt miserable. I was terribly torn at his statement.

I immediately picked up my mobile to call him. The call was unanswered;

But soon message came,

In a meeting. Will call you once free.

 

 

Chapter 3: I will Set Everything Right

Chapter 3: I Will Set Everything Right (of I Will Not Put You in Trouble). Read chapter 1 and 2 before you read it to enjoy:

Rani took the mobile in her hand. She read it and kept it on the table nearby. She had lot of questions in her mind. But she preferred not to ask any and left the room quietly closing the door. The message read:

“Hi. It’s me. Hope you remember. It has been long we talked. Actually I was in UK for the last four years. You know official visit. This time it was long, too long. But I am back now. Back to India. Hey  I want to meet you, my dearest (10). My..........Lets catch up soon (10). Any place in Delhi will do. But soon yaar. I have many things to share with you. Hi sweetie, reply soon............... I will set everything right (10).”

The message ended with lot of emojis of happiness, wailing, weeping and smiling, and then a row of 10 roses.

I was pulsed. I repeatedly read the message. He did not appear to be the man I had conversed with over phone for five minutes, four years ago. During telephonic conversation, he sounded guilty, very low, and apologetic. He gave the impression of compulsion as if he had been victim to some sort of emotional drama. I tried to interpret his message.  Sounded free bird? I had no idea what all had happened in his life after we lost touch roughly a decade and half ago.

He might be 2.0 version, but his style and writing 10 within brackets is still the same. A lazy fellow who never wanted to speak many sentences. If needed to repeat anything he simply wrote 10 within brackets which meant ten times. His unique style but an irritation for others who wanted him to speak, to put his view points but I got irresistibly drawn to his unique way. Perhaps I could read his silence, could fill those gaps, perhaps not. My thoughts drew me to closer to him when interrupted again. This time it was a chirping doorbell. I left the coffee cup on the table with a sigh. I opened the door. The man from nearby food stall was looking for my next door neighbour Shyamli who wasn’t at home, so he handed over the parcel to me.

Shyamali is very foodie but never likes to cook. It’s easy for her to order freshly cooked food from nearby food stall. Chintamani, the delivery boy knows where to leave the parcel if she is not at home.

I entered in my kitchen asking Rani what to do? I am in dilemma, bitterly confused. Hamlet would not have been caught up in his thoughts as much I am now. I am torn between the war of my mind and heart. What to choose? Choices, after all are forced compromises in the absence of coincidences. Even great men loose objectivity in their fight for pursuit of excellence. This is just me.

To be contd........................................

 

Chapter 2: Its WhatsApp (I will not put you in trouble)

The given story is chapter 2 of  'I will not Put you in trouble: a short love story'

The story will be published in episodic manner.  

Again, again why is it that you always take days, months and this time a year to write something for your readers? "What kept you so busy", said Rani sarcastically. She knew me so well that she sounded sarcastic to me, though she had asked such a simple question. I knew this time it was more than a year when again I started working on the same old mini laptop. It's not that I had completely stopped working on technological gadgets. In this modern world one cannot think of doing so but I have a way with this old mini laptop of mine. For all official purpose I generally work on PC or on Dell.

It had nearly been ten years that Rani and I had been together, just the two of us. She had left her drunkard husband in her early twenties. It had been difficult for her to make both ends meet all alone. Neither the in-laws were supportive nor her own parents. She had to leave both the houses to live alone. The so called high status did not allow her to do menial jobs. I still remember, Sunday 15^th July 2013, when I found her in Super Mart trying to remove one less usable item every time the man on counter informed her about the total money. Ultimately she purchased only sugar and salt to make her living by drinking sugar-salty water. I had watched her closely while she was busy manipulating. One could easily make out the endless pain on her beautiful face. Truly the moon did have a scar.  I offered her a cup of coffee in a nearby restaurant to which she readily agreed. While we sipped our coffee, she narrated her whole incident in one go.  We both needed a companion and found the one in each other. Our companionship has been a solace for each other.

She had known me inside out. It was long back when I had received a phone call from him which allowed her to investigate me. Oh! She could read all emotions on my face.

I was in my study when she was there to call me for lunch and found me holding ‘the love of mine’. She was still waiting for the answer which I was unwilling to give her. But she knows me more than I do know myself. She won’t leave until ....

Speak the truth; don’t cook up anything new, she said sternly reading my emotions.  I stammered with a choked voice, this time, four years later, it's the Whatsapp message and then I extended my mobile to  show her. It read I want to meet you, dearest..................., my ....... .We were speechless.  

TO BE CONTINUED........................

 

MURDER MYSTERY?

Sushant Singh Rajput's death has turned into a mystery. His leaving us for the heavenly abode on 14th June 2020 shocked the entire nation beyond doubts thereby giving birth to million questions and the major role being played by WHY?

Many theories as Nepotism, Bullying, Insider vs Outsider, Gangism, Mafia money etc crept in but truth has still to be unlocked. India actually wants to know the truth of his death mystery. Whether it was suicide as told in first go or murder rather planned murder as claimed by some Bollywood stars and a huge fan following of SSR.

It has been more than a month since he left us but we still feel connected to him. Unknowingly he developed a smooth  'RAABTA' with nation as divine as 'KEDARNATH'  which doesn't allow 'DIL BECHARE'  to admit that this 'VYOMKESH BAKSHI' solving mysterious cases could ever think of  committing suicide himself. This is even clear from statements of his close aides and friends.

It is oft- quoted that Truth may be delayed but never denied. Whether truth wins or looses is in future's womb and we all eagerly wait for this 'SONCHIRIYA' to get justice truly. Whether it was suicide or abetment to suicide or murder or financial bungling case is a subject of investigation and is it is in due progression. It has three major players Mumbai Police, Bihar Police and ED and they are all playing their part. We neither are biased  nor prejudiced against anyone but we need justice for the beautiful soul who left us bereaved with millions questions unanswered. 

REST IN PEACE Sushant

My Twenty Year Old Daughter

When my twenty year old daughter

Steps out of the house,

I look at her through the eyes of a MOM

Her face shinning with confidence,

Her black, sharp, illuminating eyes,

Reflecting the rebelliousness of her age,

Reminds me of my days of twenty,

Compels me to relive those memories,

Making me forget for the time being,

Aging wrinkles on my pale face

Socio-Politico Official affairs,

Coerced discourses at mundane fairs,

Loosening knots of familiar relations

In the hope to run the nation;

 

Worry Not;

Will come early,

Screamed She,

Thus breaking my thoughtful glee;

 

 

I wanna say her

I am the incarnation of all Shakti

Be it Durga, Kali or Chandi,

AM there to Shelter you

Need not FEAR

THOUGH

Countless stands with greedy eyes,

Numerous utters unlawful voice,

Innumerable to clip your wings,

Untold to snatch you hence;

But Worry Not,

I am for you

Return home with same fervour and gaiety,

As returns your brother with mighty;

 

BUT ……… THEN…………. ONCE

When my twenty year old daughter

Stepped out of the house

To return never

For the WORLD was not

As thought SHE.

New Era in Indian Politics: Politics of Performance

Today is 11th March 2017 and we are all glued to our TV sets witnessing the historic mandate in favour of politics of performance. It is well known to all of you that Legislative Assembly (Vidhan Sabha) elections were held in Uttar Pradesh, Uttarakhand, Punjab, Goa and Manipur and today is the day of results. Since morning all News Channels kept on showing the trends and results of all the parties. 

The results of UP elections drew everybody's attention, for UP being the single largest state having 403 Assembly seats. Had UP been a single country, it would been the 6th largest country in the world in population. But obvious UP plays a vital role in Indian Politics. The results of UP Assembly elections commenced a new era of Indian politics and I would call it as the "politics of performance".

BJP winning more than 300 Assembly seats clearly brings out the fact that people want development and they want it be seen on ground level. The results are a big No more to the politics of caste, politics of religion, politics of  pick and choose, politics in the name of dalits and Muslims etc. It also indicates the end of regional politics. Gone are those days when you won elections by befooling people. Now its time to perform to regain one's seat and people's faith. The voters can no longer be befooled rather they are cautious in casting their votes. They enjoy the pious and largest festival of democracy. 

We may hope to see the power of "politics of performance" in upcoming elections and especially in 2019 Lok sabha elections. Whosoever wins but must win on a meritorious report card. The responsilbe, accountable and faithful government should only be in power  at Centre and State level, development of all and particularly of nation as a whole should be its sole aim. If "politics of performance" continues, the day is not far when we can be counted amongst the developed nations of the world.